Friday, November 21, 2008

On Candy and Hookers

Young people should be out on Friday nights. They should be carousing, drinking, and perhaps getting themselves into situations where they can blame it on beer goggles.

What is this young person doing tonight? Your girl Lizbeth went to the gym, stopped at Trader Joe's to buy 5 bottles of cheap wine, and got home just in time to catch the Ashley Alexandra Dupre interview on 20/20. Woohoo!

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka "Kristen," is the escort (as she likes to call herself) who brought down Steamroller "Lov Guv Jr"* Elliot Spitzer. Diane Sawyer interviewed her, and I'm sorry, Diane comes across as the biggest baddest ice cold bitch ever. Let me explain--Ms. Sawyer isn't mean per se, but she just has a such a sense of detachment, no sense of empathy whatsoever. I just don't get it. Give me Barbara WaWa or Oprah anyday. Hell, Tyra would have been great interviewing Dupre!

The whole thing is, this could have been possibly the best interview EVER, even better than when Connie Chung interviewed Gary Condit in 2001. Connie was all, yo, did you sleep with Chandra, and Condit's all, I've been married 34 years and have not been a perfect man. I remember watching that interview in 2001 at my aunt and uncle's house in Boca Raton and switching to a special episode of O'Reilly Factor immediately after to deconstruct the interview. Ah, those were simpler times.

Fast forward seven years and now it's all about terrorism, war, and cheating governors in the Tri-state area. During Diane's interview, the one thing that almost made my blood boil is when Diane is all, you went by Kristen, but your real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. I almost gagged. Any self-respecting New York Post reader such as myself knows that her REAL name is Ashley Youmans, then she took her step-dad's last name so she became Ashley DiPietro. Dupre is her lame ass stage name--she's trying to become a singer.

But anyway . . . this is a blog about free food and look how distracted I am getting!

Wasn't a great day in the pursuit. I ate 2 packs of Smarties, a Nestle Crunch, and Whoppers. I also had McDonald's for dinner, but I paid for that.

All right, I'm off to bed! Hopefully tomorrow I will live more as a young person should!

*Lov Guv Senior is disgraced former Governor of New Jersey, "I am a gay American" James McGreevey. He stepped down in 2004 after doing a lot of sketchy things involving men at rest stops and hiring people he was probably banging.

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