Thursday, May 28, 2009

I don't have to work tomorrow . . .

Which means it will be hard for me to find free food. I need to develop better foraging skills!

Today was okay. I ate a couple mini-Heath bars. I also stole the one remaining cookie from a cookie platter that was left out in the 8th floor kitchen.

That's all I got.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Boston Baked Beans may lead to farts, so when I'm in Boston I eat what's in my parent's fridge


My loyal fans, all 3 of you . . . I dedicate this brilliant comeback column to you! So sorry for the delay, I was back in Boston, er, North Andover for the Memorial Day weekend, and so much time was spent EATING that I haven't had time to eat. I mean write.

Let's begin, shall we?

Friday was the best day because I spent 6 hours on my beloved Fung Wah bus! I made it home alive, so Dad treated me to a beer at Clarke's in South Staion.

Saturday, we went to a family friend's bar mitzvah party. I ate rock candy and drank wine. I also spied on a bunch of 7th graders dancing with each other under a tent. If they got too close, I grabbed the mom to break them up.

Sunday I ran a road race with my mom, dad, and sister Katie in Portsmouth, NH at a BREWERY!
It was 5k and there was free food and BEER after! I ate a wrap from Fresh City, a chicken burrito, cookies, and BEER! Because the portions were small, my fam and I were still starving
so we ate a late lunch at Fat Belly's Grill and Bar in downtown Portsmouth. I ordered wings for the table and a medium rare blue cheese burger for me! And I ate the whole thing!

Monday, we went to a cookout at my Nana's in Rhode Island, though the grill was out of gas so we broiled the burgers in the kitchen. Katie made a great salad and I stole some chocolate chip cookies from the freezer. Then Katie and I took the bus back to New York. We classed it up and took Peter Pan since the Fung Wah does not stop in Providence!

Overall the weekend rocked! Long weekends are fun but let us remember WHY we had Monday off--it was Memorial Day. God bless the brave men and women who gave their lives to defend our country.

Love you all!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Week in Review


Your girl Liz has been BUSY. Which in the world of free food means she has been EATING. So let's start.

On Friday I took the always classy Fung-Wah bus back to Boston. I made it home alive, a plus! My father picked me up at South Station, and we drove to beautiful North Andover, home of the Scarlet Knights. Luckily, my mom had stocked the fridge and freezer so plenty of free grub was waiting for her favorite daughter, aka me! I was so excited to seen she had the Weight Watchers ice cream bars called "Candy Bars" because my best bud Lori had recommended them to me. I ate one (3 points!!!) as well as a Weight Watcher lemon cake (1 point). Free and delish!

Saturday I slept in, drank some free coffee, and made a sandwich out of whole wheat pitas and spreadable cheddar cheese. Always klassy, like Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta!

I'm never tardy to the party!

Afterwards, I went for a 9 mile run through the mean streets of North Andover. I felt awesome and sexy!

That night I performed at my favorite comedy club in the whole world, the Comedy Studio in Cambridge. The show rocked. I was super happy with my set, even happier about the Bud Light my friend Cindie bought me!

Sunday I ate more food at my parents' house, woohoo! After Mass at St. Mike's, I attended the sheep-shearing festival on the Old Common. Oh how I love small towns! And then I took the glorious Fung-Wah back to New York. Again, made it home alive.

I was exhausted at work on Monday, but nothing a chocolate kiss from John K's Batman head couldn't fix! I ran 4 miles after work.

Yesterday was an all-star day in the quest for free food. I left work early to attend a wonderful gala to benefit Project Sunshine at Cipriani 42nd Street . Cipriani is a SERIOUS New York space. We're talking big money here. Now, you might be shocked to know this, but your girl Liz is not a high roller. But, I am a person who cares deeply about the world and I volunteer for Project Sunshine, which is a super awesome nonprofit organization that provides free educational, recreational, and social programs to children facing medical challenges and their families. I had the opportunity to attend their annual fundraising gala event as a volunteer, and when else will I get to go to Cipriani's??? So I went!

Now, overall the evening was a huge success, a lot of money was raised, I worked the silent auction and sold the HELL out of my prizes, but this is a blog about free food, people. So, volunteers were provided free burritos from Chipotle's. Yippee! I hid one in my purse for the next day's lunch. Then 3 hours into the evening another volunteer and I persuaded one of the servers to bring us out some Cipriani fancy rolls! He was the man because he also brought us out a plate of asparagus, zucchini,
and polenta. Yeah for yuppie food!

Then today at work was AWESOME because we had an ice cream social! Blind item: Guess who got 2 scoops when everyone else got one???

All right, I need to SLEEP!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

It's All About Cake

Good thing I'm not Eve, because I would have screwed over all of humankind because I can't resist temptation. Especially when it's free cake!

Today was a big day for cake. Towards the end of the day, one of my spies in the office called me to say there was leftover cake from a colleague's baby shower. Unfortunately, I could not run to the kitchen at that moment because I had to finish a very important task (I am an important person, you see). I was so nervous that there would be no cake by the time I got to the canteen, but luckily there was half left! I cut myself a small slice.

After work, I had my book club in Wash Heights. We read The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles, which was liked by three of the ten members, including me! When we finished our discussion, Laura brought out a chocolate cake with strawberries for our hostess Rachel's birthday. It was quite delish, despite the whipped cream frosting which I do not usually like.

Now I'm home, and tired. So I'm going to bed!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Breathe, Bitch, Breathe!

Today after work I ran along the Promenade on the West Side Highway. During my last mile, I ran through a patch of loud high school students. I looked over at them, and one young boy screamed "Breathe, Bitch, Breathe!"

While I like to think I look super cute while I run, I did probably look like I was dying. So, the boy's advice was good.

I ended up running 6 miles total, so I didn't feel bad that I ate a delicious free chocolate cupcake that my pal Shelley gave me during work!

Now I need to go to bed!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dykes, Beer, and Cupcakes

Your girl Liz is a pro-lesbian drinker of beer who also adores cupcakes!

And today was a brilliant day because I incorporated all tree, and all were free!

Let's start with the cupcakes.

Today my company celebrated its anniversary of being a part of a bigger company. HR ordered a bunch of cupcakes from Baked By Melissa. They were seriously mini, and when I say mini I'm talking the size of a quarter. I ate 10, I think, or it could have been more. I am not proud of this but it's the way the proverbial cookie crumbled.

After work, I performed at the show Dykes on Mics at Ochi's Lounge. I was the token straight person. What a novelty! I promoted the show on Facebook, and imagine my surprise when my dear friend Robert from Duke showed up with his adorbs brother Daniel. I hadn't seen Robert in almost 7 years and it was such an amazing surprise and even BETTER when he bought me 2 Brooklyn Lagers!

Now, I am off to bed!

Monday, May 11, 2009

I Just Ate Too Much Cake

Several weeks ago I went to a party at my sister's pad in Hoboken. She gave me a big hunk of birthday cake for me to bring home. I put it in my freezer.

Flash forward to tonight. After I ate my dinner I decided I needed a sweet! So I took the cake out of the freezer! And I didn't even wait to defrost it before I ate it! And it was huge and I am full!

I guess it's a bit appropriate as I am watching Golden Girls right now. I mean, it was chocolate cake and not cheesecake, but you get the picture.

Thank you for being a friend.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Celtics won, but I ate no free food


Today was a good day in that I ran a 4 mile road race (9:59 pace, not my best but I was okay with it), performed in a stand-up show with a total of 2 audience members, and the Celtics beat Orlando. Woohoo!

But it was bad in that I ate no free food.

And now your girl Liz has got to sleep!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

This One's for Lori

Yo, I'm tired, I have to wake up at 6am to do a road race, but eh, what's a Saturday night without a little blogging about free food?

Today was a victory in the quest for free food. I went for an early run in Central Park, and afterwards I found a group of peeps handing out SoyJoys. While they are much too healthy for me, they were free, so I ate one!

Fast forward several hours. I went to a belated Cinco De Mayo party at my friend Bridgette's. I drank sangria and a Corona, and I ate a tamale, guac, a cupcakes, and many other goodies!

Now I have got to go to bed!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Night at Home!

What's up my lovely readers???

It's Friday night and I'm at home and about to go to bed! Woohoo! I joined a running group and we meet tomorrow at 7:45 so I figured no partying tonight. Oh well!

But, there was free food eating today! At work I ate a mini-Almon Joy. So so exciting!

All right, sleepy time!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Cupcakes and Bagels are awesome

Yes, yes, I am getting more witty and literary every day in naming my posts. Just call me Liz Shakespeare.

At any rate, let's begin.

Yesterday I was the team captain for a company-wide initiative to fight hunger in New York City for the not-for-profit City Harvest. I collected donations all day because if anyone knows about the value of food it's me!

My dear co-worker Sharyn gave me a delicious and free cupcake to thank me for my altruistic ways. It was almost too beautiful to eat.

But hell, I ate it anyway.

Then today I noticed a conference room filled with 3 people and a huge basket of bagels. Like they needed all of them. I walked by their room three times to see if they were done yet. Then when I was in a meeting, they put the bagels out. Your girl Liz grabbed an everything with cream cheese. Woohoo!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Why Does It Always Rain on Me?

I thought it was April showers bring May flowers, but your girl Liz has seen something but RAIN the past few days.

But, being the eternal optimist and totally non-cynical person that I am, I look for the good things in life. Take today for example! I hit the jackpot in my quest for free food!

See, we had a huge big corporate brainstorming meeting led by an outside group that lasted 4 hours. One of the group leaders was really hot in that nerdy artistic dark-framed glasses way. If he lived in New York, he would live in Williamsburg and thus render himself unattractive and too ironic for me, but he hailed from Minneapolis so he was just dorky! Unfortunately, he also wore a wedding band so I am going to say next please!

At any rate, while this geek was eye candy to me (did I really just use the term eye candy? Shoot me), what was the real treat was the humongo spread of free food! It was catered by a real catering company and I filled up two plates with the following goodies: a buffalo chicken wrap, penne with cherry tomatoes and mozzarella cheese, raviolis, some barley-apple-raisin concoction, salad, Diet Coke, cookies, and brownies!

After the meeting, they put out the leftover food in the kitchen. I brought my tupperware over and tomorrow for lunch I will eat another buffalo chicken wrap and penne. Life is good!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Free Food and Free Money!


In addition to being a person who writes about eating free food, I am also a stand-up comedian. Tonight I stopped by an open mic at Ochi's Lounge in the Meatpacking District to work on my set in preparation for my big gig at the Comedy Studio in Cambridge on May 16.

At the beginning of the show, all the comics have to pay $5 that goes into a kitty. At the end, they pull 2 names out of a hat and split the money between the 2 winners. Well, guess who won $42??? Yours truly!

So today was great because I won money and ate several mini Milky Ways, the "midnight" dark chocolate ones, from Johnny K's Batman head. Woohoo!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dine and Dash


What a weekend it's been! Started Friday with yoga with my girls Megan and Holly. After we rewarded ourselves with a not free dinner at Lasagna in Chelsea. I ordered Veal Saltinbocca Alla Romana and a Carafe of chianti. Afterwards, Megan I went back to Queens. We drank a bottle of Charles Shaw Shiraz and 2 Heinekens, which were free for me as they belonged to Megan!

On Saturday I met my neighbor Kristen for a drink at a wonderful watering hole in our hood, Crescent & Vine. I ordered a Chimay and Kristen selected a glass of wine. The bill came out to $20, we put down $24.

Or, so I thought.

We're walking home and all of a sudden we hear a man chasing us. Kristen apparently put down a $5 instead of a $10 by accident. Yeah, we dined and dashed. It's like we were TRYING to make it free. But we were caught! And I emphasize, it was an ACCIDENT! I hope I can show my face there again!

Today I hosted my children's lit book club. We read The Amber Spyglass, the third book in the "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Now, I shelled out a pretty penny for wine and snacks, and my guests also brought over food which was free for me, including pork buns, scallion pancakes, egg rolls, popcorn, cookies, and chips. Yeah!

Now I'm going to bed.