Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mini Cupcakes are still cupcakes

Normally I like my cupcakes big, but I also like them free. So, my dear friend Sue brought in mini cupcakes to her open mic show tonight, and I ate 3 of them. Or maybe 4. I also ate several mini Krackel Hershey Bars. No Mr. Goodbars though, but there are never any men in my life, so what's the surprise there?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Weekend Review


Sorry it's been so long! I've been busy being awesome. You know how that is.

So what do I have for you? Well, Friday I ate a slice of someone's pizza at a bar. Then on Saturday I went to a party in Park Slope where I drank 3 free beers and ate Doritos. Sunday I ate someone's leftover chicken fingers. Yippie!

Now it's almost bedtime. Love you all!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Don't judge a book by its cover . . .

Judge it by the food you eat at book club!

So today I met with my tres awesome book club. I ate lots of spanawhateva they're called, pretzels, guac, and cips. For dinner I ate rice, chicken, tuna casserole, bread, and Crumbs Cupcakes! Yippie!

Now it's bedtime. Woohoo!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Why isn't the day longer???

Again, another day being important. Woohoo! I don't even know if I had time for any free food! Yesterday I did--pizza, salad, and pasta.

Sorry this is so short! It's like the Gary Coleman of blog entries!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Why is the weekend so short???

I have a great idea. Let's switch the work week with the weekend! So we work Saturday and Sunday and then we have Monday through Friday off! Brilliant!

Until that happens, I will recount to you my free food experiences over the weekend, but it will be quick.

Friday--my sister and I met my uncle at Double Crown for dinner. I ate a spicy beef salad, fancy fries, brussel sprouts, butternut squash curry, and chocolate cake. My uncle paid so it was free!

Saturday--I ran 25 miles and drank lots of Gatorade that I paid for myself. Boooooo! But then I went to a party and drank free booze. Yeah!!!!

Sunday--No free food. Boooooo! But I did buy Peeps. Yeahhhhhh!

Now, it's bedtime.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Come and knock on my door . . .

Hello peeps!

So sorry I missed out on regaling you with my free food adventures yesterday. Your girl Liz had a busy day at work and improv. I even ate three Marshmallow Peeps, courtesy of my girl Casey. Thanks boo!

Today was a slightly more relaxing day. Work was hectic but when isn't it? I am so important so it's only natural that I am busy. Just call me Important Liz! In addition to being Important Liz, I am also Cake-Loving Liz, so imagine my pleasant surprise when a colleague's wife brought him in birthday cake??? Delicious, rich chocolate cake. I ate a slice. After work I ran 5 miles so we're all good.

Came home and watched Intervention. And then guess who came to my apartment? 5 members of FDNY!!! And I didn't even have to pay $30! Woohoo! Well, actually they came to my neighbor's apartment because her carbon monoxide alarm accidentally went off. I just peaked my head out into the hallway when the firemen came to our building. I tried to look all sexy but that's pretty hard when you're wearing non sexy pajamas. D'oh!

All right, bedtime now!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

C is for Cookie!

Hey all! Well, yesterday I had to end our conversation early because I had to watch Duke beat Butler in the NCAA national championship. The Blue Devils had done won the championship since I had last set foot on the campus as a student waaaaay back in 2001, so this was an awesome victory. I STILL can't believe I didn't do a bracket this year! Boo!

Before we get back to my firemen singles party story, let me just tell you I might have met my soul mate today. See, it was a really beautiful day but since I am so important and busy I didn't have time to take a lunch break, so instead I took 10 minutes to walk around the block. As I was crossing the street to return to my office, I noticed a young man sitting on an inflatable couch in the pedestrian concrete island in the middle of the street. He was handing out free chocolate chip cookies! And business cards promoting his website. How very New York of him. I bet he lives in Williamsburg, and is unemployed and trying to get a book published based on his witty blog (I was partially right--according to his website he lives in Brooklyn but hell it could be Bed Stuy for all I know, and he's a musician). Imagine--a man distributing FREE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES in front of my office!!! Is this fate or is this fate? I call fate! But--I had to grab a cookie and run since I am so important. Also noticed on his website that he looks to be wearing a wedding ring, and your girl Liz is no Angelina Jolie. What, too soon?

Now let's talk about the Firemen Party. Again.

When we left off, I had ordered a Guinness, eaten a Jolly Rancher, and tried to mingle. I figured, men like sports, let's talk about the Final Four!

Liz to a firemen, one of 10 there: So who do you think is going to win the tournament?

Firemen: Wow that's a loaded question. I like to tan!

Which brings me to my next point . . . firemen really like to go tanning. As more firemen trickled in, I noticed that A) they go tanning B) they're all Catholic and wear huge tricked out crosses C) they like Celtic and Chinese symbol tats on their arms. Oh, and they like to hang out in packs near stripper poles to show off their skillz to their bros. Well, that last part happened at R Bar. All of New York's Bravest, who coincidentally all looked like Jersey Shore rejects, were more impressed with themselves than they were with any of us lasses. My friend Meghan and I, tired of all the Guidos, said F this, we'll just have a few drinks and dance by ourselves. Which we did!

I left with my dignity intact, though one older firemen told me he liked the way I danced to Empire State of Mind. Eek. No numbers though. I'll just have to hang out in my own nabe in Astoria. We have lots of cops and firemen!

Off to bed now!

Monday, April 5, 2010

I've Got a Case of the Mondays!

How ARE you??? It's been SO long! I know you have missed me lots. I've had a CRAZY week. Let's talk about it!

Shall we?

It started last Tuesday. I went to a Firemen Singles Party sponsored by Single and the City. Yup, that's their name. Yup, the event was as awful as it sounded. Basically, we desperate future housewives paid $30 (or $40 at the door) to attend a party at R Bar where there would be firemen. When my friend Meghan and I got there at 7:15, there were all of 10 men there and at least 50 women. I asked the ladies who checked us in if there was going to be food or at least a drink ticket. I was told no, but you can get beer and wine for $5 till 9pm! Wow, what a bargain!

Oh, but there was a bowl of Jolly Ranchers!

I had given up booze for Lent but there was no way I was getting though this night without booze. I ordered a Guinness (sorry God) and tried to mingle.

And ate a free Jolly Rancher (well, it was a $30 cover charge).

And now my people, I am going to so a Liz Simons FIRST . . . I am going to write To Be Continued . . . because I have to watch Duke beat Butler!