Tuesday, September 28, 2010

"Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!"

I love food. I love it when it is cheap. I love it even more when it is free, hence this brilliant blog!

But you know what would be awesome? If there was a real life Everlasting Gobstopper where I could suck on one candy and enjoy a banquet of roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, and heck, blueberry pie. And I don't even like blueberry pie!

Alas, there is no such thing as an Everlasting Gobstopper, so today I settled for a free pack of mini Gobstoppers. They're actually pretty tasty, though they didn't change colors as much I remember!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Food Glorious Food

Mondays are tough. But not when there is a big meeting and lost of leftover food! Today I ate a curry chicken wrap, Ceasar salad, and 3 cookies. One had walnuts--boooo! Shame on whoever ordered them. But I will live.

And now go to sleep!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Something is fishy . . . .

As in, my tacos!

Tonight I went to see my friend Paul's show and we celebrated with fish tacos afterwards, which he bought. Yippie!

And I think I have a contact lens stuck in my eye. Sooooo annoying! I hate being blind!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Gym-iny Cricket!

Wow, good thing I don't write headlines for the New York Post. Yet.

At any rate today was a bizarro day. New York Sports Club was celebrating their 36th birthday, and subsequently all the gyms were offering treats. And by treats I mean free food. So at lunchtime I ran over to the NYSC near my office to eat some (organic) pizza and toast with Nutella. After work I returned to actually workout . . . but what a wonderful surprise that they offered wrap sandwiches, fake buffalo chicken, and smoothie samples! And then after toning my hot bod, I ate a piece of cake! Woohoo!

I'll admit the sample sizes were not my usual size (ie they were what Arnold is to Willis, RIP Gary Coleman) but they were still free! Victory!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Baked by Melissa, Eaten by Me!

Baked by Melissa is a lil company that makes cupcakes the size of a quarter but which probably cost a lot more. This is New York people. And how my old Boston self would hate that I wrote such a smug sentence as "This is New York people." Ugh! Internal debate.

At any rate, there were some Baked by Melissa cupcakes floating around and I ate the following flavors:

mint chocolate chip
tie dye
Peanut butter cup
New York Cream

Cinnamon was my surprising favorite and NY cream was my least favorite. I guess I was not in an empire state of mind?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts!

Your girl Liz has been very, very stressed lately. Sure, work has been busy, but what's been really making me crazy is that I'm so behind on all my shows. I have been DVRing Rubicon because I ADORE James Badge Dale after his turn as Robert Leckie on HBO's The Pacific, but it was waaaaaay too conspiracy theory and confusing for me.
So I gave it up and deleted 5 episodes from my DVR. I felt like I was clearing out my digital hoard, which is what I like to do when Hoarders is back on air--and I'm 2 episodes behind on that show. Eek! Life is hard!

So to relieve the absolute HORROR that is my life I have been eating lots of free desserts! And what an amazing coincidence that today was Free Dessert Day to celebrate the premiere of Bravo's new show Top Chef: Just Desserts! Hundred of restaurants and bakeries (I'm making this # up, could have been more, could have been less, I'm too lazy to fact check. This is a one woman operation here children! I don't have any interns!) throughout the city offered free sweets to salivating citizens. Like the alliteration, eh? I grabbed a couple wimpy brownie pieces from a place near my office but the BEST part was that from 6 to 8pm a dessert TRUCK was parked outside my building. So at 6:15 I packed up my bag at the office so I could go to the gym. I figured I'd stop at the truck on the way and grab a mini cupcake or whatever they were offering. My expectations were not high.

Bur just like TLC ain't too proud to beg, I ain't too proud to admit that I was WRONG. I got in line to wait for my free dessert. But while I was waiting someone offered me a Godiva chocolate! And then another lady offered me a Billy's Bakery yellow cake cupcake with green frosting. Billy's is my FAVORITE and I could eat a vat of their icing with a spoon. Or just my tongue. Another woman pushed a big ass chocolate chip cookie in my hand, and then the Billy's Bakery cupcake lady came back over with banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting!

Just a little snack before dinner!

Remember, I was on my way to the gym.

I finally get to the front of the line. The kind lady in the truck asked what kind of Godiva truffle I wanted--I selected a carrot cake one (by accident I should add, I'm not a big carrot cake person but heck if it's free I'll eat it!)--and then she said I could have a cup of Breyer's ice cream--I chose coffee brownie chunk. I could have even had a THIRD cupcake but my hands were a little full so I passed.

I decided that going to the gym probably wouldn't be a good idea. So I returned to my office, dropped off my desserts, and changed into my workout clothes in the bathroom. I then ran 6 miles outside. When I finally got home, I ate my banana cupcake! Sooooo amazing! You would never know there was fruit in it!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pizza and cupcakes

What an original title! I'm so clever!

Today was a surprisingly good day in the free food world. It was no Monday, I'll tell you that much.

I ate a peanut butter chocolate cupcake during work to celebrate 2 upcoming weddings in my department. And then during my open mic the bartender ordered us pizza, so I ate a slice of mushroom/pepperoni and a cheese. Woohoo!

Monday, September 13, 2010

I Don't Like Mondays!

And I can tell you why, unlike SOME other people:

It's because there is a dearth of free food. You know what I ate today? NOTHING.

Yesterday, however, I went over my friends Katie and Geoff's apartment to watch the True Blood finale and they fed me this energy drink, so can't complain! Now, if only I could get Jason Stackhouse to arrest me!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Paul Downs Rules!

My great friend Paul Downs is the funniest man I know. Sometime he is the funniest woman I know, when he is performing as a female character! At any rate, you need to catch his show the Paul Downs Syndrome at the world famous UCB Theatre.

And not only is Paul hilarious, he is also generous--he bought me a salad for dinner tonight. He even let me add chicken even though it cost an extra $3! Love him!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

North Andover, Revisited

Hey kidz! I bet you have been eagerly anticipating the sequel to my adventures in Massachusetts. Let's continue!

Sunday: I slept in, ran 4 miles with my Dad, and then went to church. I asked God for world peace and free food. How He obliged! He also gave me free clothes: my mom took me to TJ Maxx at the greatest strip mall of all time, the North Andover Mall. The North Andover Mall is home to Fashion Bug, Payless Shoe Source, Kohl's, and the Bollywood Grill. My hometown is so progressive! They even get the Jewish holidays off now!

My mother bought me a couple dresses, one of which I wore to work today and everyone complimented me on it. Unfortch, I didn't make missed connections wearing it!

After shopping, we returned home where my dad fired up the grill. He's a manly man, you know, despite the fact that he looks like Waldo.

Where's John Simons, aka Liz's Dad?

Papa Simons cooked delicious steak tips and chicken from Butcher Boy. Sister Katie made some tomato concoction. Mom boiled corn. I set the table. Wow, what a contribution! I poured myself a glass of wine but Katie forbade me to drink it since I was running a 25k the next day!

Monday: Our journey through free food in North Andover is almost over my friends. Or, I'm getting tired and am postponing it till tomorrow. So on Monday, Labor Day, your girl Liz decided to push herself! I ran a 25k with my dad around Cape Ann. Not to toot my own horn, but it is a HARD course. We finished a minute faster than last year, yippie skippie! I placed 579 out of 624. The Kenyans better watch out for me! At the post race celebration, I ate 3 popsicles (orange, root beer, and fruit punch) and one hot dog. My dad and I then drove to Rockport where I bought a half pound of my beloved tipped mints at Tuck's Candies. I can't believe Dad didn't offer to buy them for me! Whatevs! Nevertheless, if you want a way into my heart you will order me these. They are my all time favorite candy. And this is coming from someone who knows a thing or two about candy.

Rockport is a dry town, or used to me . . . I think you can get drinks at restaurants now but it's a bit of work and I imagine it is what Utah is like with all the Mormons. I am sure I am exaggerating. But no matter what, I don't want to get my drink on in Rockport when I can go right next door to Gloucester, home of the Crow's Nest and the inspiration for the Lifetime movie The Pregancy Pact. Yeah, they know their booze. Dad and I went to the Studio on Rocky Neck and ordered wings, beer, and burgers while sitting on the outdoor deck by the ocean.

All in all a great weekend. I'll talk about Tuesday tomorrow, but in the meantime let me tell you what I ate today! A leftover oatmeal raisin cookie. One of my least fave cookies, but beggars can't be choosers.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Long Weekend in Review, North Andover Style

Wow, what a good-looking family! I wonder what their last name is? Could it be Simons? Could the girl second from left in the black and white dress be named Liz??? As in is that me??? Why, yes, it is!

That picture is from 3 months ago when I went to my cousin Claire's amaaaaaazing wedding. We sure clean up nice! This weekend I also spent time with my family, except for that tall goof Andrew. He remained in Nashvegas, TN where he is an aspiring musician. Check out his music!

At any rate the best part of visiting my parents is that they feed me lots of free food. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Friday: I took the ever so classy Bolt Bus from NY to Boston. Upon exiting the bus, I took the T to Back Bay station where I met my dad for lunch at Viga. Guess who was buying??? I'll give you a hint: it was not me! So anyway, I ordered a Bari hot wrap, which consists of chicken, cukes, peanuts, rice, sauce . . . it's super Asian influenced.

After lunch my dad returned to his office and I walked around the city. Since I am an adult, my dad did NOT give me a stash of cash and say to me, "Spend this on what you like." So, I bought my OWN candy at Sugar Heaven (gourmet mints, nonpareils, and chocolate covered cookie dough balls and espresso beans) and my own ice cream at JP Licks (mint chip fro yo).

We were supposed to go to the Red Sox game that night, but due to the wimpy Hurrican Early, the game was postponed till Saturday at 1pm. So my dad and I drove back to the greatest town in all of the Merrimack Valley and met my mom and sister for pizza at Stachey's. Pops was paying again for this round. We ordered a half mushroom and half meat lovers pizza and a couple of salads. And a bottle of wine. Yum!

Saturday: Red Sox game! My whole family, sans the rock n roller Andrew Simons, met a couple friends for the game at Boston Beer Works. My friend Tom bought me a stout, and then we went to watch the game. The Sox lost, but I did drink a couple free beers and iced coffee, so there you go!

After the game, my dad took us all out dinner at the Washington Square Tavern in Brookline. I used to come here all the time when I lived in Boston and it did not disappoint! Cute boys, good food, good beer! I ordered gnocchi, wine, and beer! Yippie!

After an awesome day in Beantown, we returned to the mecca that is North Andover. But not before stopping at the greatest ice cream place in the WORLD. That's right, I'm talking about you Benson's! Benson's is located in Boxford, which is home to a lot of trees and a cool old school general store. That's about it. But it's beautiful! I ordered coffee chip frozen yogurt. Which makes me sound way too healthy and conscientious. I just happen to like the taste!

At any rate, got to take a break from writing. Time for lunch!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I am hungry!

There was free pizza after hours at work today, but it was for people who were staying late and I figured I shouldn't eat any . . . and I didn't . . . and I am still bitter. And a little hungry. But it might be phantom hunger pangs because I'm still jealous of the people who got to eat the pizza.

All right, I'm not making any sense. Good night!