Monday, August 31, 2009

Munchkins and double chocolate chip cookies in the morning

Today was TOUGH coming back to work after a wonderful weekend at my family's house.

But, it was made awesome because someone brought in Munchkins and Pepperidge Farm double chocolate chip cookies for a Monday morning meeting. LOVE IT!

Also love sleep, which I need to do now!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

It's a Nice day for a White Wedding . . .

Or any kind of wedding for that matter, because usually weddings involve free food and booze! Which is a good thing for a lover of free food like me!

Sorry, I am getting ahead of myself. See, I have not written in a few days because I have been so busy gallivanting all over the Merrimack Valley of Massachusetts. I'm a jet-set traveller, though I travel by Fung Wah bus!

It all started Thursday night when I actually high-classed it and took the AMTRAK from New York to Boston. It made local stops but I still felt like a high roller. My parents were late in picking me up at South Station in Boston because they stopped at the 99 in North Andover. Yeah, I was jealous and pissed too. How dare they? I could have really gone for some Gold Fever Wings! But do you think they were thinking of me?

Nope, they they were thinking of this guy who flew in from Nashville with his lovely girlfriend:

Two beers please!

Yes, my parents' favorite child Andrew was in town and he didn't want to wait for me to go to the 9s. Bastard.

So my parents pick me up and we return to the finest town in all of the Merrimack Valley, North Andover! Even though my whole family is on Weight Watchers, my parents still keep a well-stocked fridge and freezer, so I ate lots of homemade chocolate chip cookies, Weight Watcher latte bars, and hummus.

I went to bed early because the next morning my dad and I ran 18 miles. Woohoo!

That evening, we all attended a super awesome wedding to celebrate the union of Tommy and Karen Nigrelli! The Simons clan has been friends with the Nigrelli clan since Laurie Nigrelli (now Frucce) and I were in kindergarten together 25 years ago. While I love the family for their awesomeness, I also love them because they are Italian and appreciate food and booze as much as I do! So needless to say the wine, chicken piccata, and cake I ate were delish!

The next day I was not as hungover as I thought I would be. Andrew, his girlfriend Kristin, Laurie's husband Jon and I all went to perhaps the greatest restaurant in the history of mankind, Harrison's Roast Beef. My father slipped me a $10 bill so this counts as free.

I could write a whole book on Harrison's, but let me just cut to the chase. Harrison's is a North Andover institution where high school jocks, parents, and Valley expats like myself eat. When I was in high school, I was in the drama club so was I not cool enough to come. Now, I just don't care. You are almost always guaranteed to see at least 3 people you went to high school with (or their parents!) and this time was no different. I ordered a medium sandwich with sauce and (horse)radish as well as a large fries and Diet Pepsi. So so good. There are no words.

Then today I ate a couple of free chocolate chip cookies for breakfast (don't tell my mom!) and then my father drove me to South Station so I could catch the Fung Wah. Woohoo!

Overall, an excellent weekend! So good to see the 'rents, my bro, his gf Kristin, the Nigrelli fam, and many more!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Liz loves cupcakes like crazy

All right I am tired and about to go to bed. But I must tell you about my excellent treat today at work. Someone left 2 boxes of mini cupcakes in the 8th floor kitchen. I ate 3, maybe 4, plus a brownie and a blondie. Woohoo!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Rhode Island: Little State, Big Eats

Hello all my fans.

Sorry to keep you waiting on my latest and greatest post. I've been very busy traveling (by bus) and I've fallen behind. But I assure you, I ate lots of free food.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

It began on Thursday. I went over my very funny friend (and comedian) Selena Coppock's apartment to star as an extra in a video short she is producing. And by star I mean I stood with a beer in the background. But, the beer was free and the shoot was about 3 hours long so . . . you do the math because I was too busy drinking free beer!

Then Friday I met my sister and a couple family friends out to dinner at Etats-Unis on the Upper East Side. Etats-Unis is a very nice restaurant, so naturally I have never been there before! I ordered a beet salad, striped bass, and warm chocolate souffle. And white wine! The meal was amazing and what was even cooler is the family friend graciously picked up the tab so it was free!

Saturday my sister and I left via Peter Pan bus for Newport, Rhode Island to go to my aunt's surprise 50th birthday party. Yippee! Parties are always a great place for free food, and this shindig did not dissapoint! There was fresh from the sea lobster rolls, crab salads, healthy salads, beer, and cake! And of course wine! After the party, my mother, my sister and I met my best buds Megan, Meghan, and Katie--as well as a really hot captian named Brian--at Celtica, a bar sort of close to downtown. I only drank one beer which was not free since I bought it but I did get to watch Megan and Meghan sing We Didn't Start the Fire on karaoke.

Sunday was a great culmination for free food. My sister Katie, my dad and I ran for 5 miles in Roger Williams Park, and then afterwards we joined my mother and Nana for a late lunch/early dinner at Cranston, RI's finest restaurant, Twin Oaks. Correction, Twin Oaks is not a restaurant so much as it is an establishment. It was already packed at 3pm, and these are not late afternoon brunch-goers drinking their mimosas. Hells no. These are veal parm and baked stuff shrimp eating, Manhattan down-the-hatchers we're talking about.

Mom ordered a vodka tonic, Dad a Bass Ale, Nana a Dewar's on the rocks. Katie and I ordered Diet Cokes. I ordered prosciutto ravioli which came with a side salad prominently featuring iceberg lettuce. My nana's baked stuff shrimp (off the senior menu) came with a twice baked potato. She only ate like 3 bites of it, and I really hoped she'd offer it to me, but instead she wrapped it up to bring home. I was very jealous.

Papa Simons (aka my dad) picked up the check. I didn't see that one coming! Then we returned to my nana's house where we looked through old photo albums and found several awkward photos of everyone! Then my dad drove Katie and me to the Providence bus station so we could catch the Greyhound back to the city that never sleeps (with me, anyway), New York!

After such a great weekend, it was hard to come back to work. Lucky for Johnny K's Batman head!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Breaking News

Hi, I am reporting from you live from the office. Normally I do not write during the day, but this is so important and monumental.

There are boxes upon boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts in the 8th floor kitchen. As a long-time consumer of KK (12 years!) I am thrilled, even if I have to heat them up myself.

The only issue is I went up a pound at Weight Watchers, so I can only eat one. Bahhhhh!

Monday, August 17, 2009

My brother, the stud; and also why meetings are good

Mondays are always tough, but they especially kick your ass the day after you have run a half marathon in blistering August heat and your legs and butt ache like you've been paddled for hours by a pregnant dominatrix.

At any rate, I was prepared for today to be a literal pain in the ass, but it was actually quite delightful.

Let's first talk about my brother Andrew, aka Sexy Droo, the stud.

Now, back in the day, Droo looked like a young Ben Affleck. At 6'7, he commanded attention. Plus he was in excellent shape, he was well-groomed, and he dressed like the cute New York City college student he was.


Then he moved to Nashville.


Despite the fact that he looks like he's either a) a Vietnam War protester with an affinity for kitties or b) the missing hippie member of the Village People, Sexy Droo actually works at J. Crew in the most upscale mall in all of Tennessee. While off-duty he wears jorts (jean + shorts = jorts) and American flag bandannas and cute t-shirts featuring cuddly creatures, the boy does clean up for work.

So you can imagine my INSANE surprise and JEALOUSY when my brother sent me an e-mail to let me know he was a Craig's List Missed Connection . . . by a dude!!!

Normally I am 100% supportive of Sexy Droo's successes. But my teeth are clenched in envy because I have been trying to be someone, ANYONE'S, missed connection for the past 5 years. When I lived in Boston I used to sit by the fountain outside the Pru, and I'd always wear cute dresses and giggle and just hope that someone would spot me across the way and have to write an anonymous post to a website:

Beautiful Readhead

You are sexier than a fox. I notice you every day and I want you. We can make sweet love, nasty love, hot love.

But did this ever happen? NO!

And then my brother doesn't even try and he has some mysterious man lusting after him as evidenced in the gent's Craig's List post:
Such a handsome man, with those black locks and 6'4" height.
Just thought you should know.

Sexy Droo is straight, but it doesn't mean he thinks the gays are crooked! He's impressed by their excellent taste!

Well, as a middle child it's my duty to be jealous constantly, but luckily I ate some free food that took my mind off things. There was a round table meeting with the general manager of the company. I did not attend, sadly, but I ate leftover salad, pasta, and three cookies. I also grabbed half of a buffalo chicken wrap and half a tuna sammy that I could eat later for dinner as I had a comedy show at 9 and I wouldn't have time to go home to eat first.

So work ended, I went to the gym, returned to the office to eat my sandwiches, then I left for my show at Ochi's Lounge, which is a really cool room in the basement of Comix. There were a ton of comics and soon after I performed they gave away drink tickets because host Matteson Perry, a very comedian, was moving to LA.

I ordered a Brooklyn Lager and tipped the bartender well, because you should.

Now I need to sleep. Busy day tomorrow!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Run Liz, run!

Sorry I've been such a slacker of late. Two days without me must be very hard. Well, let's move on, shall we?

Today I ran the NYC Half-Marathon in Manhattan. Nothing like a little 13.1 mile trot in hot heat! I left my apartment at 5:15 in the MORNING. It was still really dark which scared me. But what didn't scare me is the 2 cute boys I saw in the subway who were also running the half marathon! We started talking about running. Then one mentioned his wife (yawn) and the other mentioned his wedding in 4 weeks (are we there yet?). While I was disappointed that 2 cute boys were off the market, it was nice to meet nice people in the nabe who might have friends, hehe.

I met my friends Lori and Lindsay, two fabbbbulous sisters, in the corral. Once the race began, those 2 wild and crazy girls pulled ahead of me, as they are faster! Imagine my delight, however, when during mile 2 the hot boys from the subway passed me and said hello Liz!

After the race, Lori, Lindsay, and I met my sister Katie on the Upper East Side for brunch. It doesn't matter what I ate because I paid for it myself. Boo. Lori then drove us to her grandfather's pool club in Long Island. I left my money in her grandpa's house, and I tricked my sister into buying me a Rocket Pop and a pretzel, insisting that I'd pay her back. Not!

After spending all afternoon by the pool, we stopped back at the house to use the bathroom. Lori's very active dad, who had just sadly lost in the semi-finals of the pool club's badminton tournament, offered me Wise Deli potato chips. I took a handful since they were free!

Now I need to go to bed as I have been up since 4am!!!


Thursday, August 13, 2009

I pass on the birthday torch!

A friend at work celebrated her birthday today, and she brought me over a delicious yellow cupcake with green frosting from Eleni's. So good!

Then after work I went to a spinning class because I needed to work off said cupcake. After that, I met my work friend at a bar for celebratory birthday drinks. While I did pay for my glass of pinot noir and bottle of Stella Artois, the bar put out free apps that you better believe I ate!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Let Liz Eat Cake!

The birthday train keeps on running, fueled by cake!

For the third day in a row, I've eaten a piece of the delicious birthday cake my department got me for my birthday. I finally finished it after eating it straight out of the box. Klassy!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's the God's Honest truTV


I'm telling you the 30s have have been awesome so far! I am breaking new records every day in my quest for free food. Today was no different.

At work I ate another slice of the cake that my coworkers bought for me yesterday. Then afterwards I met a gentleman for dinner (also known as a date! I know, I'm shocked too!)at JJ's Fusion in Astoria. We ordered squid, miso soup, sake, and some kind of sushi roll. Absolutely divine--and free!--as my date picked up the tab.

Afterwards I walked back to my apartment. I stopped in CVS to buy a birthday card. On my way out I noticed a camera crew from truTV. Turns out they were filming promos for the new season of the beloved classic Operation Repo. While I am still mourning the cancellation of my favorite truTV show, Rich & Reckless, hosted by investigative reporter and perennial bad ass Mark Ebner:

So that's how the cookie crumbled, and it was delicious!

I am a fame whore who will do anything to be on tv! So I signed the release and snarked on Operation Repo.

Afterwards the field producer gave me a beautiful truTV hooded sweatshirt. As in free!

So today I scored free cake, free sushi, and free clothes. Woohoo!

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Birthday continues!

Hello peeps!

Wow, this was QUITE a day for free food! First of all, Johnny K was back from vacation so his Batman head was restocked. I celebrated by eating a Storck Chocolate Riesen and a Mr. Goodbar.

At 1pm, Lenny's Catering came in to feed my department for free! See, I had dropped off my business card at their Upper East Side location a couple months ago, and they chose moi to win a free lunch. So today their rep Julie came to feed us. She brought a tray of sandwiches, mozzarella salad, regular salad, a pasta dish, fruit salad, and a tray of desserts. Needless to say I tried some of everything! Then afterwards my boss Torrey brought me out an awesome cake, which declared "Liz is 30!" Amen to that!

So, already the day was a-okay in my book. But it got BETTER. My dear friend and colleague Dan gave me a gift certificate to Itunes. While not food, it is still awesome!

Then at 5pm, my bigwigs at my office brought out a giant cake and champagne not for my birthday but to celebrate a work milestone. I ate a huge piece of cake and drank 3 glasses of champagne. Needless to say, I didn't make it to the gym!

This Monday capped off a fantastic birthday week. While what I really wanted was one night with Terry Bellefleur from True Blood:

I look confused because I want Liz and can't find her. And I went to Iraq.

I instead got this:

and this:

I do need a place to put my toiletries and I should solicit help from Patti Stanger, a third generation matchmaker, so these are probably way more functional presents and I love them very much!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me!

I entered my dirty 30s today, and needless to say I was hungover, and very happy!

Last night I drank lots of free booze and ate lots of free burgers, cake, etc. Yum!

Thanks for all who came out to celebrate with me. Big kisses!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Goodbye 20s, Goodbye!

Today is my last day in my 20s. Thanks God. We'll do a retrospective tomorrow. As you can imagine, there was a lot of booze involved.

Today I'm having a cookout, and there should be lots of free food. Yippee!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Good Friday

So this is my last Friday in my 20s and what am I doing? Watching baseball on tv. Alone. At home. Yahoooooo!

I had today off, which meant I slept in, got caught up on True Blood, and ate! But no free food, unfortunately, though I probably had an opportunity after I got a pedicure today because some dude in a wife beater hit on me when I was walking the mean streets of Astoria. He took my number and was flirting heavily. Did my mom pay him off???

All right, got to get back to extra innings. Tomorrow should be more exciting!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

2 more days till the dirty 30s!


I went spinning today because I'm out to exit my 20s and I can't maintain my sleek physique without a little maintenance. Thank God Johnny K has been out then, because the Batman head has not been stocked for DAYS. I did grab a Werther's a pack of Nerds buried at the bottom. Woohoo!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Batman Come Home!!!

Okay, Vegas is going to need to wait another day because I am tired. I ate very little free food today as my boy Johnny K is out on VACATION--the nerve!--and as such the Batman head has not been stocked with candy all week. There are about 5 Werther's and 3 Laffy Taffys left. I took the final box of Nerds for breakfast this morning.

Johnny K, come home!!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

What happens in Vegas stays in the blog!

So I went to Vegas this weekend and ate lots of free food because Mom paid for it all! I have so much to talk about including many martinis, mojitos, cute waiters, and sexy bitches named Barbara and Sheila. But I also need to go to bed so I will write my expose tomorrow.

I did eat 2 slices of yello cake with pink frosting at my girl Sharyn's baby shower today. So delish and sweet just like Sharyn! And the boy I liked from speed dating e-mailed me! Is there a free dinner in my future? Stay tuned!