Saturday, October 31, 2009

I'm backkkkk!

Hey all! I know you have all missed me so very much. I've just been very busy being important. I ran a marathon, visited my parents, ate lots of free food, you know the drill. And tonight is Halloween so there's that!

So . . . how has my free food progress been? Excellent! Today a lot of the local stores were giving out candy to kids. I snuck a few pieces. And now I'm off to a party. It's tough being so popular!

I will write more soon. Love you all!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

3 more days till I can drink booze!

Hey all,

Sorry I've been lame! I've been really busy being important and training for my marathon which is this weekend. Yippee! I am so excited because I will be able to drink booze again. Double yippee!

Despite my abstinence from the hooch juice, I have been eating a bunch of free candy from Johnny K's Batman head. Today it was a Hershey's bar, M & Ms, and probably something else!

And now it's bed time!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Whoppers: a good burger and candy

It must be really confusing being called a Whopper. Are you a royal cheap burger, or are you a malted milk ball?

Well, the Whopper I ate today was the latter. And FREE!

Now it's bed time.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Case of the Mondays

6 days till the marathon . . which means I can drink booze again! Yippee!

Till then, I'll satisfy myself with free candy. Today it was a Nestle Crunch and M & Ms. Woohoo!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Lions and tigers and cupcakes, oh my!

It was a fruitful Friday for free food at work. We're talking pizza, salad, cupcakes, and even champagne! I ate everything except for the champagne, because I'm not drinking till my marathon which is 9 days away, yippee!

All right, going to bed!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy 1st Birthday Blog!

Hello all!

I am so pleased to tell you that my brilliant blog has turned one year old today! Woohoo! And how did I celebrate?

With balloons! Not!

Actually--I celebrated with one free cookies and cream mini Hershey bar.

But, today was the most monumental day in history because of the Balloon Boy. Yes, little Falcon captured the heart of the American public, hell of the worldwide public, when we all thought he was floating in a hot air balloon his batshit crazy Dad made. Well, turns out he was hiding all along and looks like it was a hoax. WHICH I CALLED!

Now, I must go to bed. Can't wait for the 2nd birthday!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Love at first bite

Not much to say, except I love candy and that's my downfall. I would marry it if I could.

Today I ate a mini box of Mike and Ikes and a free piece of Patsy's Pizza. Yum! Now it's bedtime, which is equally yum!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Liz Simons is a member of PETA . . .

People Eating Tasty Animals, that is!

Every day I thank God for making animals taste so good! Last night I picked out a bunch of recipes I wanted to try, and today I shopped for the necessary ingredients. I needed to buy pork tenderloin, so I went into the new meat shop in my office building (meat shop? I guess I mean butcher's???).

Anyway, I asked the man at the corner for half a pound of pork tenderloin, and he nodded his head towards the really hot guy who is actually cutting the meat. "Yo, we have tenderloin, right?"

The really hot guy replied that yes, they do, have pork tenderloin and he proceeded to cut me a piece.

Naturally, my mind was going in a thousand different directions and I almost said, "I just love meat!" Whcih really is true but I knew I'd slip and probably say "I just love sausage!" and then I'd feel like a bad Catholic and I would never be able to go into the butcher's shop again!

So while my meat was not free, it was an adventure!

I did manage to eat three pieces of free candy. Yeah!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Old Liz returned for a day

Wow, today was a hard day. I ate way too much free candy and then went out to dinner with an old college friend and ate too much Indian food! Nothing diet-y! Eek!

At least I didn't drink any booze. Tomorrow's a new day.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Free Soda!


What a beautiful day it was today! I ran, did my laundry, and made fudge. Then I had a comedy show where two people bought me Diet Cokes. Free soda! Yeah!

Only 2 more weeks till I can drink again!

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Power of No!

This is a Liz Simons first.

Today I turned DOWN a free cupcake. I actually grabbed it, brought it back to my desk, and then gave it to my coworker. I ate a cup of frozen grapes instead.

I DID eat a slice of free mushroom pizza though. Sigh.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Why does candy have to taste so good?

I can never understand people who say they don't have a sweet tooth. To me, those people are like those who say they "don't own a tv." Oh, get over yourself! Watch one episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and you will be hooked on the boob tube.

See, I have a sweet tooth. And a salty tooth. And a booze tooth. In fact, I have a mouthful of teeth that love pretty much every imaginable food, except for peppers and onions, though even those I can eat in certain kinds of salsa.

I am like the town whore--I'm open to any food possible! Which is great when I'm writing a very well-respected blog about free food. Harder when I'm trying to lose weight for my trip to Turks and Caicos.

Today I ate a free Nutbreaker. So good! I also ate free soy chips that my friend gave me. They were healthy AND free, though not the tastiest.

Oh well!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'm so green


Today was one of those days where bed seemed awesome all day long. After work, I weighed in at Weight Watchers (down .6 lbs) and then headed towards the subway so I could go to my spinning class on time. Right as I swiped my card, I realized I left my keys at work. Boo!

So I walked back to my office and noticed with relative glee that there was leftover salad. I took a Tupperware and filled it. Free lettuce! Yeah!

I missed my spinning class but worked out on the elliptical instead. I am truly amazing.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

San Dimas High School Football Rules!

I fell in love with Keanu Reeves when I first saw Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure 20 years ago. Since then, I have engaged in many fantasies about him. Several times I have married him, a few times it has just been S-E-X, and then there's the time he chased after me but he couldn't have me because I was in love with Leonardo DiCaprio (this was the Titanic era).

I bring Keanu up because he's part Hawaiian (or he was born in Hawaii or he hula dances--I can't remember the connection but I know there is one), and I would really like to eat some free macadamian nuts right now. They don't even have to be chocolate-covered!

Since it is late and I am ready to go to bed, I don't think I will go out and buy any nuts. I will instead affirm my gratefulness for the 2 free Heath bars I ate today at work. Not my best Weight Watchers day! Oh well!

I'll leave you with this gem.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Headless Body in Topless Bar

Gotcha, didn't I? Because I'm not feeling clever, I lifted one of the all time greatest New York Post headlines. Alas, there were no headless in bodies in topless bars in my life today. What there was, however, was one free mini-Reese's peanut butter cup! Yippee!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Weekend Review: Pretty, pretty, pretty good

Hey all!

Wow, what a weekend it has been. I woke up at 4am yesterday for a 26 mile run. Nothing like getting on the subway for an early morning trot when other derelicts are returning from the bars. I imagine this is how a Mormon feels.

I returned to my apartment after running for over 5 hours. I was thrilled it started raining because then I would not feel guilty about sitting on my ass and watching tv all day. I caught up on all my shows: The Amazing Race, Intervention, Hoarders, Bored to Death, and Project Runway, just to name a few.

While there was no free food on Saturday, it will still a kick ass day.

Then today, Sunday, came. I took the day off from exercising because my ass still hurt from running and sitting all day on it watching tv. I went to my friend Jessica's in Wash Heights to meet my book club in order to discuss Coraline by Neil Gaiman. That was cool and all, but what really rocked was all the free food! Cookies, hummus, more cookies, strawberries, popcorn, and chips. It was a real banquet.

I got home and finished cleaning my apartment. Ever since I started watching Hoarders I have become a bit anal . . . well, my version of anal, which just means throwing stuff under my bed. KIDDING! I actually do pitch stuff and have become inspired. Then I sat down to watch tonight's episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm which was fantastic. Larry was so spot on about tip coordination.

Now I am going to bed! Big smooches to all!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Running in Empty

Remember the old days, when I'd eat lots of cupcakes, candy, and whatever I could grab? Well, that's how I gained 25 lbs in 2 years. And now we're trying to reverse the curse, which means I'm eating lots of healthy foods!

Get this--I ate free SALAD for the second time this week. Wow. I'm shocked too.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sausage Fest

Today I ate a free buffalo chicken sandwich at work (yippee) and then afterwards I went to hear a bunch of sportswriters speak at JLA Studio in DUMBO. We're talking a virtual sausage fest--I was one of maybe 10 women out of a hundred guys. And the event was FREE. Kind of a metaphoric free meal if you will.