Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What I learned in 2008!

Woohoo! 2008 is almost over! I've learned a great many things from this year. Let me share with you:

1) Never go on a cruise with your husband.
While I have never been on a cruise, they do seem so appealing to me. The dancing, the buffets, the cute little cabins, the booze, becoming bffs with everyone on the ship. However, I should probably never go with my future husband, because he might throw me overboard and then blame it on "my depression." It's just the perfect scene for a crime, and look, let's face it: I talk a lot. So just say I'm on a romantic cruise for my honeymoon, and I keep making my new hubby act out Jeff Van Vonderen's speech on Intervention ("I've got a bunch of people in this room who love you like crazy, and they don't want to lose you.") Hr might be all, Liz, no more! And then push me overboard. That would really suck, especially since I would have gotten all new presents for my wedding.

2) I should probably start Internet dating.

Ugh, I hate to admit it, but in 2009 I will turn 30 and I do not want to be a New York City cliche with my Lean Cuisines in the fridge. I also have my sister's wedding in November and I can't be having everyone ask where the future Mr. Simons is. So I have to be proactive. Plus I will get lots of free food at all those restaurants to which my Internet dates will take me.

3) Free food rules!

Just saying.

And a quick recap of yesterday and today's free food. Yesterday my dear friend took me out to the Grog in Newburyport for lunch. I ate a side salad, butternut squash raviolis, garlic bread, and an Ipswich ale.

Today I ate a can of soup at my parents' house.

Love you all! Here's to a happy and healthy 2009!

Your pal,


Sunday, December 28, 2008

Redbones rules!

It's been 3 days since Christmas and I am still at my parents' house, enjoying their free hospitality. Today we went to Cambridge to visit my dear friends Ben and Gloria and their 2 babies. Since tonight was my brother Androo's last night before he heads back to Nashville, I totally manipulated the situation to get a free meal at a nearby restaurant. "Dad," I whined. "We haven't been all together since last Christmas, and tomorrow Andrew is leaving, so let's go to dinner at Redbones!"

Redbones is a super kick ass barbecue restaurant in Davis Square in Somerville. It is basically the reason I went to Duke . . . I mean, if bbq is this good here, imagine how good it will be Down South! Redbones was also the site of my surprise sixteenth birthday party, which was the day Jerry Garcia died. I was a pseudo wannabe hippie back then who did not smoke weed, so it was a bit of a traumatic day for me.

At any rate, my father heartily agreed to go to Redbones. Woohoo! When we got there we had to wait 20 minutes so we all grabbed beers except for Mom Simons. I saw someone i knew and so we chatted for a few minutes and before I knew it our table was ready!

I took charge of appetizer ordering: hush puppies and buffalo scallops and corn bread. My dad ordered the rest of the food which included pulled pork, Memphis ribs, St. Louis ribs, brisket, slaw, and beans. We finished the food within 10 minutes of it being brought to our table.

Satiated, we headed home. Mom Simons whipped out the Toblerone for dessert. All in all a great day!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Holiday Update

Yo kids.

I feel really bad that my coverage of the quest for free food is so lax during the holidays, especially since the actual free food is so abundant. But between hanging out with the fam and eating, I have very limited free time to actually write. It is a conundrum my friends, a huge conundrum.

That said, we have a few thing to talk about here. One, there is a boy situation. Two, what do you do when the free food that you so desperately desire is locked in a car, not your own?

Let's talk about #1 first. Over a month ago, before Thanksgiving, I picked up a boy. He was cute, my age, single, and a traveling nurse. He seemed really into me, and I gave him my number.

I didn't hear from him at Thanksgiving, or the week after, or the week after THAT. I was okay with that because I had begun making presumptions. You see, this boy had an accent that kind of sort of screamed Long Island to me, so I figured he lived at home with his parents. So when he didn't call me, I thought, whatevs, he just doesn't want to hook up in his bedroom where all his high school sports trophies are. I can respect that.

Weeks go by, I really do forget about him, and I'm at my parents' house in the greatest town on Earth, aka NORTH ANDOVER, where men are men and cell phone reception is bad. I noticed I had a missed call this afternoon and I listened to the voicemail message. It was the dude, the traveling nurse, who will now be known as Greg (as in Greg Focker from Meet the Parents, another male nurse!). Greg is all, yo Liz, remember me, I met you a while ago, how 'bout a drink.

Now, Greg was kind of cute and I think he is Catholic because he had an Italian last name so Mama Simons would be okay with him. BUT, it's been over a MONTH since I gave him my number. So, should I give him a chance? Or do I blow that sucker off?

While we're pondering this situation, let's talk food. Today my sister Katie and I threw a reunion of sorts for the few people we actually liked from high school. Wow, was it fun. Our pal Carrie made some delish stuffed mushrooms and my sis Katie bought a delectable spread of veggies and barbecue potato chips. There was also red wine involved, yippee! After all the guests left, however, your girl Liz was still ravenous. If we were in New York, I'd go to Gray's Papaya and order 3 dogs with sauerkraut. But we're not in NY my friends, we're in the Merrimack Valley! My dad John told me my Auntie Susan and Uncle Kevin, who are staying at our house till tomorrow, had some leftovers from the Loop's (Methuen's finest shopping center) finest restaurant, Not Your Average Joe's, in their rental car. Sweet! I thought. I am on a mission.

Well, I was sorely disappointed in my quest because Susan and Kevin's car was locked. Add this to fact that they are in bed and have to wake up early to go to Florida and then you have a situation where these desire leftovers will be thrown away. Booooo!

Deflated, I returned to the house and ate a few handfuls of honey roasted peanuts and dreamt about what I should passive aggressively text Greg tomorrow. Any ideas?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!!!

It's come people, Jesus is here!

At any rate, this is a very abbreviated post. I ate delicious free rack of lamb today, as well as some delish caserroles at Chez Nigrelli.

Will write more later!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

The 99, aka Heaven on Earth

Today I took the Fung Wah bus from New York to Boston. The Fung Wah has a long-standing tradition of being fast and out of control, but so much fun! In my 5 years of taking the Chinatown to Chinatown Express, I have sat next to a Hungarian, a yoga instructor who critiqued my posture, and a conspiracy theorist who declared that the Citigroup building would be next to go (I was working there at the time). I love these experiences because dealing with the crazies gives me a good story to tell, and it makes me hungry!

Which is great when I'm going back to Boston because usually it means I'm visiting my parents and they are all about buying me food!

Today was no different. My dad and brother picked me up at South Station. It took us almost 2 hours to get back to the greatest town in the Merrimack Valley, North Andover! Home of the Scarlet Knights and Sam Waterston! North Andover is also the home of many fine dining establishments, including the distinguished Harrison's Roast Beef, cougar hangout Burton's, and the always venerable The Loft.

My preferred place, however, is a Simons family favorite. It is not only a place where everybody knows your name, it is also the place where you will see 5 generations of North Andover drinking together. It is also the place where you can get free popcorn and bright orange spreadable cheese and crackers. It is the place where you can order the most delicious appetizer in all the land: Gold Fever Wings.

Yes, I'm talking about the 99.

The 99 is a New England tradition, and by New England I mean New Hampshire and Massachusetts. It's a super awesome chain, yet every particular location is very local. For example, I would never set foot in the Andover 99. That's like an Italian kid from East Boston going into Southie during the busing years. We're talking Sharks/Jets action here.

So Barbara (Mom), John (Dad), Droo (Droo) and I piled into the station wagon to head to the Nines. When we got there, my brother pointed out 2 of my friends from high school, Kristen and Eric. Woohoo! I talked to them for a few minutes at the bar, then I joined La Familia at a booth just in time for the aforementioned popcorn and cheese and crackers. Five minutes later, the Gold Fever Wings arrived at the table. Surprisingly, they lasted more than 5 minutes. The waitress came back to take our order, I got a Sam Adams Winter Ale and turkey tips with butternut squash and mashed potatoes. This is about as high brow as you can get at the Nines.

We finished our meal and said goodbye to my friends at the bar. Just to think I have 2 more weeks of free food with my parents gets me all warm and happy inside!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Astoria forever!!!

Wassup kids?!?! I was supposed to take the bus back to Boston today but then the weather was supposed to be all crappy, so I decided to hang out in NYC one more day! Woohoo!

I had an awesome day. I woke up early and ate black bean soup for breakfast (not free, and out of a can--how depressing). I played free pacman on my computer for a little while, and then I went to church at 1 pm. I'm kind of in love with my parish. It's totally not flashy, and there aren't any young good-looking men there, but the pastor has this kick ass New York accent, and there are a ton of families, and it just makes me really happy. It's very small town, and it's so nice to see this in the midst of New York City. At the end of Mass, the priest announced there would be carolling and a visit from Santa at 6:30 tonight. So I called up my friends Stephanie and Bethany and we met back up at the church in the evening. There were lots of kids, and my ovaries over-reacted. Yikes! After the singing, there was an old school church function in the school cafeteria complete with cookies and hot chocolate and Santa. Now, my friends and I wanted to go to a bar, but I needed free food, so I snuck in and grabbed 2 cookies, including the leaf one that I have pasted here! I totally wasn't stealing as I go to this church every Sunday (for the past 3 weeks at least!).

Tonight really put me in the Christmas spirit and it was a reminder that my neighborhood in Astoria is not just a place where I sleep but I am part of the community! I love you Astoria!!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas is in the Air!

Today my friend Jillian and I decided to be all touristy and look at the department store windows and the big ass tree in Rockefeller Center. Since we were starting at Bloomingdale's, we agreed to met at 3:00 at PJ Clarke's, a super cool old school bar, on 3rd Ave.

I got there 15 minutes late, sorry Jillian! The bar was crowded with people of all ages, which is so much fun because I love talking to drinkers my parents' age, because I can charm them, and then they can introduce me to their sons!

I ordered a Guinness and then pulled out a bag of cookies I had baked to share with Jillian. The couple next to us asked for one if my adorbs Santa cookies. I happily obliged, and then we started talking to them. They were from Philly and the woman loved Tasty Kakes, just like I do! They got up to go to their table so they could eat. Bartender George came up to Jillian and me and told me our next round had been bought by the couple! Woohoo!

So I ordered another Guinness and really enjoyed the department store windows!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Office Party!

Today was my last day of work of the year. I'll be going back to North Andover, MA, home of the Scaaaaaarlet Knights, on Sunday. Mom and Pops Simons know how much I love free food, so hopefully they'll stock up! Mom, if you're reading, please bake your pumpkin chocolate chip bread with glaze and buy steak tips from Butcher Boy!

Till I get to the Mecca of free food, I have to say I'm pretty happy with the loot I scored today. We had out departmental luncheon. While there was no champagne, there were delicious salami sandwiches, adorb Rice Krsipie treats, potato and pasta salads, and fruit, all of which I ate! Woohoo! I also brought in my super cute Santa cookies, though since I paid for the ingredients they don't count.

All right, I'm off to a party now!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Happy Birthday Dad, aka the VHM!

Today is my super cool Dad's birthday. He is 57 years young! And a Very Handsome Man! Too bad I'm not spending the day with him--I bet my mom made him a delicious cake that would be free for me to eat!

Can we talk though? I must admit I am a little disappointed. Despite loving Ken Seeley like crazy, and updating AND writing on his wall these same sentiments, Seeley has not written me back. WTF???

Well, I am moving on. I was very pleased that an episode of Intervention made #6Jezebel's list of 20 greatest reality tv moments of 2008. This was the one featuring Marie, a woman with alcoholism which is "off the chain bad" (her words not mine). She's Italian-American, doesn't like to wear pants, and loves her ex-husband Bora. "He was my husband!" She did get sober (yeah!). Seeley was the interventionist so at least he did some good, even though he does not appreciate my support.

Anyway, my addiction continues. I ate a cute little cupcake and inadvertently stole a piece of pizza from a meeting. It was completely accidental-there w \as a pizza box left out in the kitchen and I grabbed one of three slices left. Then a woman in another department comes out of a conference room and says that the pizza is not available yet. I run to the bathroom so I am not caught and eat the pie in the stall. So ghetto.

Tonight I decorated my adorable Santa cookies that I will bring to my co-workers tomorrow. Do you see how cute they are? They're hiding out in my fridge for now!

All right got to go to bed.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Love You Like Crazy, Ken Seeley!

A lot of people are so elitist when it comes to reality tv. They say it is crap and then they go turn on their NPR. "All Things Considered," they say, "Now that's a show! But I Love New York? I'd rather love Count Dracula!"

Now, I do love me some Prairie Home Companion, but I also love me some Intervention, my favorite show on the Real Life. Drama network, aka A & E! And this week it didn't disappoint!

Intervention is probably the most serious reality show I watch. It follows a different addict every week, and then their family stages an intervention. Usually the person goes to rehab and frequently they stay sober. It's totally emotional and awesome and I clap and cry and laugh whenever I watch. So this week's episode featured Janet: mother of four, alcoholic, sex addict. She's probably about 50 but looks 70. Anyway, she had two sons from her first marriage. The younger one looked kind of like Eric Stoltz from Mask (yes, I am going to hell) and the older one was all sorts of hot. He's probably only 23 or 24 but I'd go all cougar on him. Janet was seriously ill, and she had a wonderful supportive family that have gone through hell and high water to try and save her.

Luckily, Janet's intervention was led by the kick-assiest leader Ken Seeley. And he was flat out awesome. I'm friends with him on Facebook, hehe, and I wrote on his wall to congratulate him on a job well done. And I am happy to say Janet has not drank since August! Woohoo! Good job Ken and company!

Now, I've been watching Intervention for almost 2 years and I love all the interventionists. Ken is fabulous, Candy Finnigan always makes me cry, and Jeff "I've got a bunch of people who love you like crazy" Van Vonderen is a tough bad-ass who suffers no fools. If my family ever has to put ME on the show I want Jeff to be the one to tell me "They're going to say something, then you're going to say something, and then we'll be done." He would just cold hard tell me like it is. And then I thought, I have an addiction to free food, and it's getting bad, so maybe there is a chance that my family will contact Intervention. A girl can wish.

I should not trivialize addiction, I know, but what else could explain the three packs of Nerds I ate today? Or the Reese's peanut butter cup? I need to start eating apples and tofu and pine nuts! I will start on this after the holidays.

Au revoir!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A quickie!

Even in this recession, Christmas is still awesome. People are having parties with drinks where you can drown your sorrows, and at the office some clients still send corporate gifts! Woohoo!

Corporate gifts are great because they are usually food so that people can share. So today we received a humongo basket of baked goods from one of our clients, made by a Mrs. Beasley. I don't think Mrs. Beasley is a person but rather a catering company, but she sure makes delicious cookies! My favorite were the chocolate truffle ones, which look like Munchkins. At first bite, however, they taste like a gift from heaven. I ate 4.

Got to go to bed now my people!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Where in the world are the mini-marshmallows???

Kids, can we talk??? I took today off from work since I had some extra vacation days and I needed to bake! I don't give prezzies to anyone for Christmas, I give them cookies! It's all in the spirit that people should enjoy free food everyday, just like I do!

I've attached a picture of one of the kinds of cookies that my friends and colleagues will be receiving from me. They came out friggin' adorbs, didn't they? And I am so so proud of myself because I only ate 2 of them and I made 96. Woohoo! I also went running this morning for an HOUR. Go Liz!

In addition to these Hershey Kiss Peanut Butter Blossoms (or whatever the hell they call them on the back of the Hershey Kiss package--this is no Liz Simons' original recipe!) I make just about the cutest sugar cookies ever--they are decorated like Jolly Old St. Nicholas, aka Santa! First I cover them with white frosting, then I use coconut for the beard, red sprinkles for the hat, 2 red hots for the eyes, a chocolate chip for the nose or the mouth, I never know what it is suppose to represent, and then one single white mini-marshmallow for the little poof at the end of Santa's hat.

Easy enough ingredients, right?


Oh my God I could not find BIG marshmallows anywhere, let alone white mini-marshmallows! I almost resorted to using Fluff! Finally I found multi-colored "fruit flavor" mini marshmallows at a 99 cent store, though they cost me a buck 29. Whatevs, I'll live. And now my Santa cookies will be really liberal and anti-Proposition 8 with their rainbow assortment of hat poofs, so I guess I'm cool with that.

As for my free food quota for the day . . . not good. I found an Andes mint in my backpack that I had taken from Johnny K's Batman head on Friday, so at least I succeeded in my mission.

I'm also excited because my favorite pawn shop is having some kind of Christmas raffle this weekend. I will SO be there, and I'm dressing up!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Saint Liz

Yo all! See what picture? That's the sweater on which I spilled red wine the other night withing five minures of arriving tardy to my friend Holly'd party. It's as if I was walking on a tightrope and spilled it! BUT, with a little Dawn and hydrogen peroxide, I was able to remove the red wine! Woohoo!

The day is still young but I'll be honest--not looking good in the free food quest. Weekends are always tough, but I will be going to a bar tonight to do comedy, Botanica at 7pm, 147 E. Houston Street, just so you know . . . perhaps someone will buy me a drink. A girl can hope.

So I am TOTALLY stretching but I suppose this counts. Today I decided to go to church so that I could pray that God would help me desire healthy free food so I can lose a few lbs in time for my sister's wedding in November. At church, I was given Holy Communion and wine, which I put in my mouth and did not have to pay for. I mean, I did give a whopping $2 to the collection, but I doubt that goes towards the wafers and wine.

So yes, I suppose I am cheating a little, but what are you going to do? I'm sure God will forgive me!


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Red Wine is a beautiful addition to clothes!

Sorry I'm late kids. I meant to write my entry yesterday before I Left work, but I forgot, and then I got home at 5 in the morning, so there you go!

What did I do in those hours between leaving work and getting home. Well, I partied and ate free food and drank free booze, of course!

My friend Holly was having a holiday party in Harlem. She can say holiday party because I think she's Jewish, so it wasn't just her being all pc. I get there and don't know anyone, but that's okay because there is 7-layer bean dip on the table, and that brings everyone together. I pour myself a glass of red wine and proceed to spill it immediately. Yeah! Luckily I know this awesome red wine stain removal tip that actually works: you put Nutella on the stain and rub it in and it disappears! Haha just kidding! What you REALLY do is take Dawn soap, mix it with hydrogen peroxide, and dab it on with a Q tip. If the stain doesn't disappear immediately, put it in the wash and it will be fine.

So I mix and mingle, eat chocolate, drink more, and then my dear friends Megan and Josh stop by. We proceed to party up a storm and that at some point we take a can back to Queens and go to a bar in Somerville. We sang karaoke, and drank beer and whiskey. For the life of me I cannot remember what song I sang. Megan? Josh? Can you help me out???

Before I knew it was 4 and closing time. "You don't have to go jome but you can't stay here." Well, I did the smart thing and did go home. I stayed up till 5 or so playing Pacman and then went to bed, woohoo!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Eat free food and "Yule" have a good time!

See that really beautiful cookie to the left? So beautiful, so symmetrical, so Christmassy, because honestly, when do you ever see them made besides the time that St. Nick stops by? At any rate, I am at this VERY MOMENT baking these cookies, though mine will not be symmetrical. Also, I forgot to buy creamy peanut butter, so I had to use a reduced fat "peanut spread" I had at home, plus a half cup of chunky peanut butter. A real innovator, that's me!

My point is, if you are friends with me and see me tomorrow, you will get to eat these cookies for free. I, on the other hand, will have to rely on the kindness of strangers to get my free food.

Today I simply had to rely on the kindness of co-workers. Since the office is trying to conserve, a lot of departments are having individual potluck lunches. Which is WONDERFUL for ME! See, at lunch time today I was hungry, and I had packed a very depressing, "I'm a single woman in the city" Smart Ones. But on my way to the bathroom I noticed a major party going on in Conference Room 8B. Every 15 minutes or so I made my way over there to see if they had put out the leftover food. Finally at 2 pm they did. I ate Entenmann's cake, fruit salad, a brownie, and a homecake cupcake. Yippee!

Pants are getting tighter though. Not good. I'll just have to drink a lot more Coke Zero.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

On being tardy for the book club party

Today I had the foresight to take the day off, since my work holiday party was last night. Granted, I was very well-behaved since there was only 3 hours open bar as opposed to the six the year before, but I wanted to sleep in and get caught up on my shows, go to the gym, bake cookies, and start my Christmas cards. Did any of this get done today? Hell, no. I woke up at 11am and heated up a bowl of soup (not free) and I only watched Bad Girls Club and didn't even get around to the Real Housewives of Orange Country. Slacker!

Why were my ambitions so thwarted? Well, I had to finish my the book "The Gathering" by Anne Enright in time for my totally bitchin' book club tonight. I had to read 200 pages before arriving in Brooklyn at 7pm.

Well, I pulled up to my friend's house a little late, 7:30. I finished the book though! I was very excited because there were some delish crackers, cheese, and hummus for snacks, and then Laura the hostess brought out a tasty turkey sausage lasagna with a side of bread. And for dessert there were brownies made by Beverly and saltines with brown sugar, butter, and chocolate made by moi.

I want to go to bed now so I can wake up on time to go running. Love you all!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Christmas rocks!

I know it is oh so not pc, but whatevs! That's how I roll!

So merry Xmas all, even if it's early, and sorry this is written post-midnight, but can we talk???

So tonight I had my "holiday" work party, which means Christmas to me! I managed to eat all the appetizers that were put out in this budget-conscious time: cucumber sandwiches, spinach Greek type things, and my beloved mozzarella sticks. I also drank 4 or 5 Stellas and one champagne-y drink. Woohoo!

Love you all, now I need to watch Bad Girls Club on the DVR. Or, I could go to bed!

And yes, I did wake up on time to run three miles this morning!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Dreaming to Be Thin: The Liz Simons Story

Oh my how much does the title of my post sound like a Lifetime, television for a women, Monday night feature film? A lot? Yeah, that's what I say too.

Here's the thing, especially if you are a super cute single boy who is reading this and has never met me or seen me recently. I'm not fat, nor even chubby. I just have a lot of junk in the trunk. As in, enough to go on a cross country trip without stopping. I've grown to appreciate my posterior, thanks in part to a former co-worker who happened to be black and pointed out that my ass was awesome. Growing up among white people--and being one myself--I did not realize this.

So here's my point: last night I went to bed and I had a really great dream about a really hot guy being madly in love with me. At one point he picked me up and swung me around. And in the dream he kind of grunted when he picked me up. Which freaked me out because aren't dreams like this supposed to be all happy and hot? But no, in my dream my man can't pick me up without grunting.

So I woke up all inspired to get back in shape. I didn't wake up early enought to run, so I boiled two eggs for a healthy breakfast (not free).

At work I decided Liz, you are going to be good and track all your food as a good Weight Watcher should! You should also take semi-healthy pieces of candy from Johnny K's Batman head.

So I ate a dark chocolate Peanut Chew (and a pack of M and M's and Nerds. Baby steps, people, baby steps).

I went to the gym after work, and tomorrow I plan on waking up on time to go for a quick jog. We're giving our two interns a going away pizza party during lunch, and then tomorrow night we're having our office holiday party, so tomorrow will be a test. Also an excellent source of free food, let's be honest.

Hopefully my dream boy will bulk up, because I am not exactly ready to give up free food.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Partying like it's 2001!

While I like to consider myself an aficionado in many things, I will admit I am not as much as a film buff as I should be. TV, on the other hand? Got it covered. We can deconstruct how all the Housewives of OC, NY, and Hotlanta are alike and different at the same time, especially Vicki and Lisa. Books? Let's discuss how On the Road is cool to read at 18, but when you reread it at 25 you realize the Beats were all kind of depressing and it wasn't much fun to be a woman in their world.

So the title of today's post is not a reference to Kubrick's Space Odyssey--last night I wasn't all anti-gravity partying with a computer named Hal. Rather, I partied like it was my senior year in college (I graduated from Duke in 2001. Go Devils!). I stayed up till 5am, even though I had stuff to do today! Hehe.

It started last night at 8:30pm when I hopped on the subway to go to a super cool last minute holiday party in Sunnyside at my dear friends' Megan and Josh's apartment. I brought my friend Mike, homemade chocolate-peanut bars, and Charles Shaw chardonnay. High roller, that's me!

So I get there and to my delight there are an assortment of goodies--FREE goodies--displayed on the table for my free eating pleasure. I ate carrots, hummus, 7-layer dip, chips, pasta, and of course I drank free wine and beer.

More people showed up and we just started having all kinds of collegiate-like fun. There was no flip cup nor Beirut going on--we are mature adults here--but there WAS a round of Kings. Before I knew it it was 3 AM and there were about 7 of us left, including the host and hostess.

So then we decided to turn on Christmas music and dance. Neighbors love it when you do this. We snapped photos and finished whatever food was left.

At 4:45 AM, there were 5 of us left, and Megan and Josh decided I should stay the night. Sleepover! Cool! We then did a very college thing: we popped in a movie. We started watching "Love Actually" which I adore but it also makes me feel all sort of lonely, because I can't remember the last time anybody waited for me at the airport. I just want to be loved goddamnit! And fed!

I wanted to go to bed, but since I was going to be sleeping on the couch, and we were watching the movie on the couch, and it was not my apartment, I couldn't exactly kick people out. Finally the final 2 guests left and Megan, Josh, and I all decide to go to bed. At 5 AM! Just like seniors in college!

The next morning I woke up at about 11am. Megan and Josh were still sleeping, so I finished my book. I also started thinking about my free food quota for the day. Weekends are always tough, so I went into their kitchen and ate some peanuts from their cabinet, just in case I didn't have the chance to eat anymore free food today.

Megan and Josh woke up, and we went out for brunch at about 1pm at the venerable Sunnyside institution "New York Style Eats." I ate a barbecue chicken sandwich with fries (not free). Josh didn't want to eat there, so he left to get a bagel. He came back to the diner with a dozen bagels: the place had a $10 minimum for credit cards and Josh had no cash. I got all excited and asked Josh for a bagel so it could count towards my free food. I also offered to immortalize Josh in my blog. He happily obliged and gave me a whole wheat everything bagel.

Now I'm about to go to bed, and to be honest I haven't eaten the bagel yet. I'll probably eat it tomorrow for breakfast. Good thing I had those peanuts!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Liz in Wonderland!

Because I am cool, I am a member of a children lit's book club. We started out reading the Harry Potter series, then the Narnia books, then Twlight, and now we're reading the Looking Glass War series, written by Frank Beddor. It is a wannabe revisionist modern day retelling of Alice in Wonderland, and it blows. However, my book club decided to meet at Alice's Tea Cup on the Upper West Side to discuss it.

Alice's Tea Cup, once featured on my beloved Real Housewives of New York, offered a 2hour wait--and probably no mimosas--so Jess, Celina, Caitlin, Stephanie and I ended up at City Grill nearby. I ate a Hawaiian salad, soup, coffee, and a bellini (not free).

After brunch, we stopped by a flea market at a senior citizen's center. I bought a pair of boots and a belt for a dollar each, then got the book Biko. Woohoo!Afterwards, we wandered offer to Jacques Torres, where Stephanie bought me a huge chocolate chip cookie, which was my free food for the day. Now I'm off to a party in Sunnyside, and I'm sure I'll have much to tell tomorrow!

Also, I forgot to mention the delicious free meal I ate yesterday in addition to the scotch tasting. Forde bought dinner for me at Cuba Cafe. I ate guac, a crappy margarita, a Corona, and chicken stuffed with chorizo. Yum yum!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Scotch: Not just a useful tape

Fridays are so much fun because they mean the end of the work week! Yippee!

Today started off well in the quest for free food: someone left out a homemade cherry pie in the 8th floor kitchen. To be honest, I am not a huge fan of cherry pie, but when it's free, why not? It's just like a danish anyway, so I had no guilt eating a small slice for breakfast.

I ate a few pieces of candy from Johnny K's Batman head after lunch, and then I got a text from a friend inviting me to a scotch tasting tonight. So I corralled my sister Katie and her fiance Forde and off we went to imbibe on the 75th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition!

At thw onderful event, we sampled several different kinds of Macallan single malt, and on our way out we received a gift bag which included a Godiva chocolate bar. An early Christmas present, I suppose?

Overall a great day in the pursuit of free food!!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Eggplant rules!

Sorry this is late kids. Tonight I went over my friends Nick and Sara's for eggplant parmesan and wine. Both were delish!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

New shows and a new view!

Now that the Pick-Up Artist has been chosen (Simeon, ugh, don't get me started. Please put yourself in a corner, what movie is THAT from?) and the sun has set on the Real Housewives of Atlanta (Team NENE!), I've been forced to re-evaluate my life. I cleared out my DVR of all the shows that I am probably never going to watch. These include: about 36 hours worth of Olympics coverage from August, 6 episodes of Life On Mars, Real Chance of Love, several back episodes of Intervention (though I kept Sylvia--where are my babieeeeeees???), and the episode of Degrassi where JT gets stabbed (too emotional). I feel very cleansed.

I have not given up tv altogether. Luckily, two great shows are returning so I am all set! We've got Bad Girls Club on Oxygen and Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo! Phew! Quick digression--do people think Gretchen is only 30? I think she's pretty and all, but she looks older. Maybe it's because she's dating someone 23 years older? Who knows.

So I've got all my shows in order, so I am trying to keep myself in order. I mean, I've got my sister's wedding to go to in a year! I got to get in shape! So today I ate only ONE mini-Hershey bar, and it was Special Dark.

I also ate a couple homemade Reese's peanut butter cup type things, but I made them so it doesn't count.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Advent is Advantageous to a good Catholic like Liz!

When you're a really awesome cool girl like myself, God rewards you. As the Real Housewives of Atlanta would say, He has blessed me! But God does not shine down bling on Sister Simons, no, He bestows free food. Thanks God!

So today was what we define as "successful." See, one of the vendors that I work with, heck, the ONLY vendor that I work with, e-mailed me last week asking if he could take me out to lunch today. Is the Pope Catholic, like Liz? Yes, and yes!

So at 1 pm today we met at Ono which is a really fancy restaurant in the Hotel Gansevoort, which is a super trendy place in the Meatpacking District where Perez Hilton hangs out when he is in town. Probably Scarlett Johansson too. Needless to say it is not a place where I ever go.

So I meet Mike at lunch, and I start with a $14 lemongrass mojito. We then order two "small plates" that were about $17 each, a lil beef dumpling thingy and spicy tuna tartare. Both were about the size of my big toe, but they were delicious nonetheless!

After our apps, we ordered three sushi rolls: barbecue eel, some salmon thing, and something else with avocado (NOT vegetarian though!). We capped off the meal with a chocolate cake and something with apples, and cappuccinos.

All I know is this is a reminder why I absolutely NEED to start Internet dating. Can you imagine all the free food at great restaurants???

So I got back to work full and bloated, so you can imagine my slight disappointment when I saw leftover pizza. There was no room in my stomach, otherwise I would have eaten it.

After work, I stopped by some Astoria shopping extravaganza at a diner because there were supposed to be a free hors d'oeuvres. Well, I must have missed them because I sure didn't eat any! Can't complain too much--I DID get a free tote, in which I found a delightful candy bracelet with a Santa Claus charm!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Brownies for breakfast make for a good Monday!

So today it was hard getting up in the morning, let alone going to work! After several days of eating, drinking, and sleeping, I must admit heading back to the office was not too thrilling of a prospect.

But then my kind boss surprised me with two-bite brownies with frosting. She had them leftover from Thanksgiving. I ate 3. So they were 6 bites, hehe.

All right, heading to bed now!