Sunday, December 5, 2010

Being Virtually Stood Up is No Fun, especially by a guy with a pasta screen name!

As you know I have started online dating so I could score some free food. I also want to be held and maybe fall in love, but it's mainly all about the food. So I was excited to go on a date with 31 year old Chef Boyardee from Chef Boyardee was adorable and funny, and one of his favorite books was Devil in the White City by Erik Larson, which is also one of my favorite books, even though it is about young women who get murdered in a big city! Chef and I had planned to get together for drinks before Thanksgiving, but those plans fell through so we decided to meet for coffee in Union Square on Saturday afternoon. "Just let me know when and where!" I e-mailed on Wednesday.

Well, Saturday came along and I had not heard from Chef yet. I wasn't sweating it because I had eaten so much free food and drank so much free booze during the week that at this point the coffee would have been extra credit. So I texted him at 11:30 and then shortly after left for my sports conditioning class at the gym. I brought a change of clothes so I could shower and hop on the subway afterwards.

I checked my phone at 1:30 after the class finished. Still no text from Chef Boyardee. F it, I thought. I'll just stay for Zumba!

As I rhumba'ed and cha-cha'ed as only a white girl can (meaning, not gracefully) I pondered what I would order at the not yet determined coffeeshop. Maybe I'll spring for one of those expensive peppermint lattes and a chocolate biscotti. Maybe I'll nibble on a blueberry scone. I salivated.

After zumba . . . still no text. Chef Boyardee was virtually standing me up! I was really counting on a free coffee!

But I am an independent woman, just like Beyonce, so I bought my own coffee at Dunkin Donuts along with those super amazing pancake-covered sausages. Yeah, they are to die for. And then I thought, Liz, you deserve a cupcake! So I bought a strawberry one at a nearby bakery.

I got home, showered, and decided it was over between Chef Boyardee and me. I ate a quick dinner and then went to a party at my friend's apartment where I proceeded to drink free beer and eat delicious potato latkes. L'chaim!

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