Wednesday, August 25, 2010

If I were a rich (wo)man . . .

Or more accurately, if I were the child of a rich and famous rich woman (redundancy INTENDED my friend), I wonder what my career would be. A few years ago, it was all about designing handbags (I'm talking to YOU Nicky Hilton), then it was all, I'm a dj! (Paging Samantha Ronson and Alexandra Richards!). And now the career choice for the offspring of the lucky sperm club is to star in a sex tape! I wonder what men think it is like to spend a night in Montana Fishburne! Ah, I am so clever! And dirty! And really plagiaristic and unoriginal!

Unfortunately for me--but fortunately for you--I was only raised upper middle class, so I still got to work in a regular job till I find success and a book deal writing my really deep blog. Which I write so often. And at my regular job is where I have to forage for free food. Which lately has been WEAK. I ate a fireball today. It lit my mouth on fire.

I was about to make a dirty joke about Montana Fishburne's private parts and how they might be fiery, and then I realized people might think I'm a pervert. And my dad supposedly reads this blog, so I will refrain.


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