You are too Sweet . . .

When you give me sugar cookies! Which what someone anonymous did at the office yesterday. Woohoo!

Today--nothing. I don't even think I ate a free Fireball. This is wrong.

Popcorn! Get your fresh hot popcorn!

Three years ago I got in trouble at work for burning microwave popcorn. "It smells like death" I was told. The funny thing is I honestly don't have a sense of smell, so I'm all, Whatevs! Too bad for you! You could fart in front of me and I'm all, it's just a cute noise!

Despite my cavalier attitude, I don't want to get fired over Orville Redenbacher if you know what I mean. So I avoid microwaving popcorn at work like Rupaul avoids wearing Birkenstocks. But I still love the tasty treat so I was positively THRILLED when today the facilities department at work broke out the office popcorn machine and airpopped us some salty snacks.

Woohoo!

If I were a rich (wo)man . . .

Or more accurately, if I were the child of a rich and famous rich woman (redundancy INTENDED my friend), I wonder what my career would be. A few years ago, it was all about designing handbags (I'm talking to YOU Nicky Hilton), then it was all, I'm a dj! (Paging Samantha Ronson and Alexandra Richards!). And now the career choice for the offspring of the lucky sperm club is to star in a sex tape! I wonder what men think it is like to spend a night in Montana Fishburne! Ah, I am so clever! And dirty! And really plagiaristic and unoriginal!

Unfortunately for me--but fortunately for you--I was only raised upper middle class, so I still got to work in a regular job till I find success and a book deal writing my really deep blog. Which I write so often. And at my regular job is where I have to forage for free food. Which lately has been WEAK. I ate a fireball today. It lit my mouth on fire.

I was about to make a dirty joke about Montana Fishburne's private parts and how they might be fiery, and then I realized people might think I'm a pervert. And my dad supposedly reads this blog, so I will refrain.

Bedtime!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yo!

Today was my 10th anniversary of drinking legally, which makes me, er, 27! Yes, that's it, 27!

I was going to treat myself to lunch, but imagine my surprise when there were leftover Cosi sandwiches from an intern luncheon. I ate 2... chicken Ceasar and buffalo chicken. So so good!

Then after work my friend Adrienne bought me an awesome chocolate pastry and coffee and petit fruit from a bakery near work. Over all, an awesome day!